It doesn't get better, It doesn't ease up, the pain in my heart is unbearable, it's like someone has stabbed me a thousand times over, then a thousand times more, I try to smile when around people but honestly it's exhausting, I rather stay at home but then the darkest times hover around, I go sit at my boys bench and watch the world go by, but sometimes it's painful knowing he should have survived, I look at where the accident happened and see the cars pass by and know if that horrid man just looked once you would still be here today with us. But all I'm left with is horrid pain, darkest days and longest nights, time is no healer I tell you no lies, if I'm honest it gets worse the longer each day passes by, some days I'm able to look at your photos, some days I'm floored, I wait for the phone to ring or for you to walk through the door, but all I'm left with is emptiness once more. The tears do flow, some days there's none, the numbness is the worse as you just feel emotionless, then the anger appears you want to burn the whole world, every waking moment there is always pain but then exhaustion takes over and sleep takes hold, some times there's just darkness but mostly the nightmares, seeing you lying there in darkness, I'm running towards but you don't seem to get closer, something is pulling us further away. The noise of my screaming when I hear those words you're gone, awakens me to realise it wasn't a nightmare, you really are gone. Each day morphs into one, time goes by but I remain on that day when they take you away. The lies and deceit rolled into one, the lack of police work that was never done. The truth came out but still never won, everyone moved on, no care that you're gone, but we will continue to fight and wait for justice to be done. I will mention your name everyday till I'm reunited with you, my job here ain't done, I watch people pass who pretended to care, friends who said they will always be there. They won't remember the darkest days where we were nearly done, crawling on the floors and pulling at hair, the tears that flooded the room, the months of no food, the times we sat there staring at the walls, nothing but horrifying thoughts that took over on time, the lack of hygiene just really didn't care, they are the times that they should have been there. We are living in silence cause no one really cares.
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In silence vast, where shadows talk,
A heart bears wounds it cannot balk.
Time’s cruel tread, an endless march,
Yet healing lies beneath the arch.
Joy’s thin mask falls at its crease,
For smiles exhaust but bring no peace.
Home, a refuge yet unjust,
When darkest nights do breach its trust.
Upon the bench where memories dwell,
The world spins stories none can tell.
Each passing car a bitter sigh,
For had he looked, you'd not have died.
Each sunrise mocks, no balm in light,
Long days that stretch to endless nights.
Sometimes the tears will find their way,
Sometimes dry eyes greet the day.
Your photos smile, yet they betray,
The echo of a distant play.
A door that never opens wide,
An emptiness, where hope’s denied.
In anger’s fire, the world does burn,
Red eyes ignite with none to turn.
Yet sleepless dreams paint darker skies,
Where distance deepens all goodbye.
Nightmares pull, and voices scream,
Awake, I find it’s not a dream.
Each waking breath a battle won,
Yet still this loss, I must outrun.
Their promises dissolve to mist,
As silence wraps the heart in fist.
But still, I hold your name aloft,
Till justice speaks in tones not soft.
In verses clear, your name won't fade,
Each whispered echo, e’er remade.
In darkest times, I speak, I fight,
Till shadows yield to morning light.